Navigating Stress with Clarity: Understanding What We Need

Stress shows up in many areas of our lives, whether that's at work, in our relationships, during a major life transition, or when we're trying to keep up with everything on our plate.

Sometimes, stress helps us prepare for a challenge. Other times, it can feel like we're carrying too much, with very little room to catch our breath.

When we're stressed, it can be easy to focus on getting through the day. But taking a moment to pause can help us understand what we're experiencing, what matters to us, and what we might need.

Is stress always a bad thing?

Not necessarily!

Some stress can help us focus, feel motivated, and prepare for challenges. A little pressure before an important task, for example, can help us rise to the occasion. [1, 2]

However, stress can become more difficult to manage when the demands we're facing feel greater than the time, energy, resources, or support we have available. [1]

Our responses also depend on our circumstances, past experiences, and how we perceive a situation. The same opportunity might feel exciting at one point in our lives and overwhelming at another. [1, 3]

It's not simply about how much we have going on. It's also about how we're experiencing those demands and what we have available to help us navigate them.

How does stress affect us?

Stress affects us both mentally and physically.
When we perceive a challenge or threat, our bodies activate a natural stress response, commonly known as the fight-or-flight response. Our heart rate may increase, our breathing may quicken, and our muscles may tense as our bodies prepare to respond. [3, 4]

This response can be helpful in the short term. However, when stress continues without enough opportunity for recovery, it can affect our physical and mental well-being. Research has linked prolonged stress with changes in bodily systems and brain functioning, including processes involved in mood, memory, and emotional regulation. [3, 4]

Stress can look different for everyone. We might notice racing thoughts, irritability, difficulty concentrating, muscle tension, or changes in sleep.

Sometimes, we recognize these changes right away. Other times, we become so used to feeling stressed that we don't realize how much it's affecting us.

Noticing what's happening, without judging ourselves for it, can be a helpful place to start.

What might stress be telling us?

Rather than immediately trying to push stress away, we can take a moment to get curious about what's contributing to it.

We might be navigating uncertainty, balancing competing priorities, or realizing we've taken on more than we can reasonably manage. Stress can also be shaped by our social environments and the resources available to us, not just by how we respond individually. [1, 5]

We may not always know exactly what's contributing to the feeling, and that's okay.

Reflecting on our expectations, boundaries, and circumstances can help us identify what might need attention. A career transition, for example, might prompt us to reconsider our priorities or recognize that we need additional support.

Three questions to help you navigate stress

The next time you're feeling stressed, consider taking a few moments to check in with yourself. 

1. What's happening for me right now?

What am I noticing emotionally, mentally, or physically? What's contributing to my stress?

2. What do I need, and what's within my power?

Would I benefit from rest, a clearer plan, or a change in expectations? What can I influence, and where might I need support?

3. What's one step I can take to support myself now?

Maybe it's taking a break, revisiting your priorities, setting a boundary, or asking for help. What feels manageable right now?

You don't need to have all the answers or solve everything at once. Recognizing what we're experiencing and considering options that might support us can help us decide where to begin.

Finding what works for you

There's no single solution that works for everyone when it comes to stress. Common approaches include physical activity, relaxation, adequate rest, social connection, and mindfulness. [1, 2, 6]

Sometimes, a small change can help us feel more grounded. At other times, we might need to adjust our commitments, set a boundary, or ask for support.

It's also important to recognize that individual coping strategies aren't a substitute for addressing the source of stress. Taking a break might help in the moment, but it won't necessarily resolve ongoing pressures or a lack of support. Research also suggests that the effects of stress-management approaches can vary depending on the outcomes being measured. [6]

Managing stress isn't just about learning to tolerate more pressure. It's about recognizing when something needs to change and allowing ourselves the time and support to navigate it.

Remember

Stress is a part of life, and there will be times when we feel stretched, uncertain, or overwhelmed. We won't always be able to control what happens around us or find an immediate solution.

But we can practise checking in with ourselves along the way.

Rather than only asking, "How do I make this feeling go away?" we can also ask, "What am I experiencing right now, and what might I need?"

Noticing what's happening, offering ourselves a little kindness, and considering what might help can be a meaningful place to start.

Sometimes, having space to talk things through can help us gain perspective, identify what matters, and explore our options.

Coaching can offer that space, whether you're navigating a personal challenge, considering a career transition, or looking for greater clarity around your next steps. If you're curious about how coaching might support you, we'd be happy to connect and explore whether it feels like the right fit for you.

— By Lily Baker, for the Ariadne Coaching Team

References & further reading

1. Canadian Mental Health Association, Ontario. (n.d.). Stress. https://ontario.cmha.ca/documents/stress/

2. Cornell Health. (n.d.). Manage Stress to Flourish. https://health.cornell.edu/resources/health-topics/stress-management

3. LeWine, H. E. M. (2024, April 3). Understanding the stress response. Harvard Health Publishing. https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthy-aging-and-longevity/understanding-the-stress-response‌

4. Yaribeygi, H., Panahi, Y., Sahraei, H., Johnston, T. P., & Sahebkar, A. (2017). The impact of stress on body function: A review. EXCLI Journal, 16, 1057–1072. https://doi.org/10.17179/excli2017-480‌

5. McEwen, B. S. (2012). Brain on stress: How the social environment gets under the skin. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 109(Suppl. 2), 17180–17185. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1121254109‌

6. Murphy, L. R. (1996). Stress management in work settings: A critical review of the health effects. American Journal of Health Promotion, 11(2), 112–135. https://doi.org/10.4278/0890-1171-11.2.112‌

This article is intended for general educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized medical advice or mental health care.